Rain in Paradise.

It's raining again, and Awesomedog is Very Concerned.

You see, we live on the coast of southern California, and we don't get much rain. Each year we see 6-9 months of zero precipitation, leading Awesomedog to believe that this is the correct way for the sky to behave. Rain just doesn't happen often enough for him to accept it as a normal occurrence. I would blame this on his dog-sized brain and lack of understanding if half the people on the road weren't afflicted with the same problem.

I've tried explaining the basics of meteorology to Awesomedog, but he insists that water should not be coming from the sky. As a herding breed, he is very concerned when things are not as they should be. Every hour he insists on going outside to monitor things.

The In-Laws.

My tinydog was sort of a souvenir from attending my husband's family reunion. The reunion was on the family farm, and Tinydog found me while I was trying to make friends with the barn cats.

Tinydog was immediately convinced he belonged with me, and followed me everywhere for the rest of the weekend.

He still had all his baby teeth, and weighed about 4 pounds. I figured somebody must be missing him, but I couldn't find any farmhands on the property. It was 105 degrees outside, and there was no food or water left outside for him, either. I brought him to meet the relatives.

My father-in-law is a fairly normal coastal southern California guy. His family is a little more...rural.

They're also southern Baptist preachers. All of them. Men. Women. Children.

As extremely liberal progressive educated people, we have to watch what we say around them.

We only see them a couple of times a year, which is kind of nice because I can use the practice at shutting up.

Anyway, the relatives didn't think I needed to worry about Tinydog being, well, a tiny dog.

(Tinydog did not go back outside, and when we left we took Tinydog with us. He stills follows me everywhere.)

Hair dye.

As soon as I quit my regular job, I dyed my hair pink. There is no permanent pink hair dye, but through the magic of the internet I learned how to make semi-permanent hair dye last at least a month. Dying your own hair isn't too hard, but there is a learning curve.

I always start out very carefully.

 

And then I get impatient.

After the dye is on, I wrap my head in plastic wrap and then leave the dye for like, 5 hours.

The first time I tried this tactic, I didn't do anything to keep the dye off my skin. This was an error.

I wore a lot of hats for the next week.

I'm pleased to say I've learned a lot and now I hardly ever dye my ears pink.

People who want babies.

It's pretty normal to be female and want to have a baby. It's expected, and it's even kind of cute.

 

 But some women seem to yearn for a baby even when they are literally being driven insane by the kids they already have.

To me, this seems like people who want kittens. It's cute when you don't have any cats.

It's ridiculous when you are up to your elbows in cats already.

I don't want to have a baby. I want to have a person. I want to create a childhood for someone and help them grow up into a wonderful person. Wanting a baby when you are overwhelmed with your existing kids seems like wanting a kitten or a puppy when you don't enjoy the cats and dogs you already have. Isn't the baby age fleeting, while childhood lasts for several years at least? Do these people just want to relive the infant stage over and over again? Do they somehow not realize that each new baby will become part of the tribe of pygmies that are slowly draining them of life?

It wouldn't be so weird if the people that seem to ache for another baby weren't the same people that complain almost constantly about their kids.

Toothpaste

Every morning it occurs to me that my toothpaste tastes slightly of rootbeer.

And then I wish it tasted more like rootbeer.