Sunday, July 1, 2012

My Cats are Stupid: Exhibit C

The Hellions do not appear to have any sort of consistent skeletal structure, and I'm pretty sure they are filled  with the same sort of goo that can be found inside a Stretch Armstrong doll. This is quite fortunate, as they lack the self-preservation instincts found in higher forms of life. 

Not that regular animals don't occasionally get squished in doors, it's just that the Hellions neither notice nor car. In one of our previous houses the bathroom door didn't stay closed reliably and occasionally required some force to get it to latch. Hence my first reaction when the door didn't shut properly was to try slamming it a few times.

If I was very sleepy or distracted it sometimes took me several slams to realize I was squashing the hell out of a cat. The cats, however, are apparently immune to massive internal organ damage and were entirely unconcerned no matter how hard they got smashed in the door. Our current house is even worse because there is a high counter beside the back door where they enjoy sitting and looking out the window. Occasionally when someone opens the door they take the opportunity to get a screen-free view of the great outdoors.

Every time this happens I am astonished they aren't decapitated, particularly when I've just attempted to kick the door shut behind me. The Hellions don't just fail to sustain serious injuries, they don't even bother to move their heads out of the way so I can close the door properly.