My Cats are Stupid: Exhibit C

The Hellions do not appear to have any sort of consistent skeletal structure, and I'm pretty sure they are filled  with the same sort of goo that can be found inside a Stretch Armstrong doll. This is quite fortunate, as they lack the self-preservation instincts found in higher forms of life. 

Not that regular animals don't occasionally get squished in doors, it's just that the Hellions neither notice nor car. In one of our previous houses the bathroom door didn't stay closed reliably and occasionally required some force to get it to latch. Hence my first reaction when the door didn't shut properly was to try slamming it a few times.

If I was very sleepy or distracted it sometimes took me several slams to realize I was squashing the hell out of a cat. The cats, however, are apparently immune to massive internal organ damage and were entirely unconcerned no matter how hard they got smashed in the door. Our current house is even worse because there is a high counter beside the back door where they enjoy sitting and looking out the window. Occasionally when someone opens the door they take the opportunity to get a screen-free view of the great outdoors.

Every time this happens I am astonished they aren't decapitated, particularly when I've just attempted to kick the door shut behind me. The Hellions don't just fail to sustain serious injuries, they don't even bother to move their heads out of the way so I can close the door properly.

A tragic hair dye accident.

Tinydog is a 6lb chihuahua. I was planning on getting a girl Awesomedog when he showed up. Tinydog is cold in anything less than 90 degree weather, so he wears a lot of sweaters. Pink sweaters. Also pretty dresses. Tinydog does not mind wearing dresses, he likes being pretty.
 

Tinydog used to be tan colored, before the accident. It started when I spilled some pink hair dye on the floor...

Tinydog is pretty skinny and tends to turn his nose up at any kind of dog food and most people food. He will, however, eat art supplies. FYI, most hair dye is poisonous.

A brief internet search showed that Manic Panic dye is actually quite safe and is even used on poodles in those wacky grooming competitions. Everything you can use to get dye off a dog is full of bleach or ammonia and potentially harmful. Soap wasn't going to do the trick, so I asked the internet for advice.

It's a semi-permanent dye that washes out after a while, but Tinydog's pink remains because I underestimated the pathos of a wet chihuahua.

Hair dye.

As soon as I quit my regular job, I dyed my hair pink. There is no permanent pink hair dye, but through the magic of the internet I learned how to make semi-permanent hair dye last at least a month. Dying your own hair isn't too hard, but there is a learning curve.

I always start out very carefully.

 

And then I get impatient.

After the dye is on, I wrap my head in plastic wrap and then leave the dye for like, 5 hours.

The first time I tried this tactic, I didn't do anything to keep the dye off my skin. This was an error.

I wore a lot of hats for the next week.

I'm pleased to say I've learned a lot and now I hardly ever dye my ears pink.