Shiner.

When I still worked for a private school, I injured myself one weekend and came to work on Monday with a black eye.

It was fake injury day, so I blended right in.

After a couple of days the kids figured out it was real and started asking how it happened. Because kids are totally oblivious to everything around them, I had fun making up a different story for each kid that asked.

 

The kids were oblivious enough that they rarely noticed when I told conflicting stories in their presence. It took them at least 6 months to sort it out, and as far as I'm aware several of them still believe there was a polar bear, plane crash, and/or ostrich involved.

Shamefully domestic.

Sometimes I just feel way too domestic. Since I work from home I also do most of the cooking and cleaning. While I am a proud and independent woman capable of handling powertools and minor car repairs, I occasionally catch myself doing things like being way too excited about my new mop.

But seriously, if you don't already own one, go stop reading this and go buy one right now.

It's been raining way more than normal, and I've pretty much given up on keeping the floor clean until the yard is made from something other than mud.

Refrigerator Organization

We ADD sufferers are not like the rest of you. Our brains do not work the same way. You can tell if someone has ADD based on how they organize their refrigerator. If you don't have ADD, yours is probably organized like this:

Whereas, if you have ADD your fridge probably looks more like this:

Most of this is the direct result of having a brain that routinely forgets things exist if you can't see them. I've been known to sprout new civilizations in the lettuce soup at the bottom of the crisper drawer.

Public Service Announcement: You can wash fridge drawers and shelves in the shower with hot water if you have a handheld sprayer. I am not responsible for any genocide that may result from this advice.

Things That Live In My house

My house has a lot of things in it. There's me and my husband Z:

My best friend Pirate? And her husband Woot!:

My super Smartdog:

Pirate?'s Scruffydog who thinks he is my dog:

My Tinydog:

Z's incredibly Evilcat:

The Hellions:

And my snake, lizard, fishtank, finches, butonquail, and several elderly and/or defective parrots. It's a pretty big house, which is a good thing. Our previous house was a 100 year old 700 square foot farmhouse. It was pretty crowded.

I am the designated animal caretaker, therefore the animals must follow me through the house at all times. It's like a little parade.

Pretty much everything came in as a stray or rescue or some sort, so they're not perfect. I do enjoy them though, although the birds have gotten a bit demanding lately.