Claws.

I don't trim Evilcat's claws because I like my skin, but I do keep the Hellions from getting too pointy. Tabby Hellion likes having his claws clipped. Tortie Hellion hates it, fortunately she is very slow. I keep the claw clippers in between the couch cushions so I can catch her by surprise when she climbs in my lap.

Then I can start clipping while she tries to process the situation.

I can usually get 3 or 4 feet done before she finally figures out what is happening and what she should do about it.

Christmas Tree

I love Christmas trees, and so do the Hellions, but for different reasons. The tree is basically a cat playground, and since we acquired the Hellions four years ago we haven't put anything breakable on the Christmas Tree. We could probably take some extraordinary measures to keep them out of it, but they have so much fun I actually feel a bit guilty depriving them of their seasonal escapades.

I am hideously allergic to real trees (pine, fir, oak, any trees, all trees) and so we always get fake ones. I like to get free fake trees on Craigslist of Freecycle and then give them away after the holidays so I don't have to store them all year. This past December I decided to get a 3' tall tree, both to save space and to maybe discourage the Hellions from enjoying it quite so much. It's too short to climb, so they can't climb it, right?

While they can't technically climb it, they can wrestle it into submission, which they did at every opportunity. The poor tree never spent more than five minutes upright for the entirety of its career here. The Hellions still had fun, though.

The snake-feeding bag

A lot of people feed their pet snake in a place other than the snake's normal enclosure. This prevents the snake from associating hands and opening cages with food. Some people have a specific feeding box or tupperware, but for smaller constrictors a really common method involves sticking the snake in a plain paper grocery bag with the food.

Since neither of my snakes is huge, this would be an ideal feeding method. Unfortunately, I cannot seem to keep a paper bag in the house for more than 30 seconds without it becoming occupied.

I'm pretty good at keeping the cats out of my gift wrap though. I hoard gift bags so that I can reuse them, and I have one that is exactly the right size and shape. It's nice a sturdy, and the top can be secured with a large chip clip. It's the most cheerful place I've ever tossed a warmed-over dead mouse.

The Cat Room.

The tiny dining room off our kitchen is the Cat Room. It didn't start out that this, and it's really all a matter of coincidence. We never intended to have a designated cat room, it just turned out that way.

We never really eat at the dining table, the room itself is super-tiny, and trying to fit more than a couple of people in there is a little silly. We do, however, feed the cats on the table, and although it is tiny, the dining room has two extremely sunny windows that are usually open. Evilcat's litterbox issues and pawprints on the table led to a few more additions.

The stools we keep under the table turned the tablecloth into a perfect place to hide. When the dogs decided to start raiding the litterbox, we put a tall babygate across the door and ended up with this:

It's a perfect dog-free cat habitat, complete with food, water, litterbox, places to hide, and sunbeams. Someday I'm going to add some shelves so they can climb/fall a bit. Yes, the dining room also has a doorway with a rounded top. It is way too cute. (When I'm outside I like to poke the cats through the window screen.)

Evilcat is Evil.

We tried a new kind of cat litter and Evilcat disapproved. She demonstrated her displeasure by pissing all over everything in the house. Pillows, blankets, dog beds, towels, laundry, everything soft in the house got pissed on. I spent an entire week doing laundry and then she peed all over everything again.

I decided to kill her. I headed for the bedroom to strangle the beast, where I found Z napping with Evilcat snuggled in his arms like a teddy bear and purring furiously.

Damn cat.

Things That Live In My house

My house has a lot of things in it. There's me and my husband Z:

My best friend Pirate? And her husband Woot!:

My super Smartdog:

Pirate?'s Scruffydog who thinks he is my dog:

My Tinydog:

Z's incredibly Evilcat:

The Hellions:

And my snake, lizard, fishtank, finches, butonquail, and several elderly and/or defective parrots. It's a pretty big house, which is a good thing. Our previous house was a 100 year old 700 square foot farmhouse. It was pretty crowded.

I am the designated animal caretaker, therefore the animals must follow me through the house at all times. It's like a little parade.

Pretty much everything came in as a stray or rescue or some sort, so they're not perfect. I do enjoy them though, although the birds have gotten a bit demanding lately.