My hypothetical child.

I want to have a kid in a year or two, at which point this may become a mommy blog about diaper blowouts and projectile vomit, worthy of an honorable mention on STFU Parents. In this event, I give anyone reading this permission to either humanely euthanize me, or introduce my current self to my future self so I can slug her.

Anyway, I think about my hypothetical child a lot. I'd love to have a highly-articulate and intelligent red-headed little girl that I can dress in pseudo-goth outfits and tutus.

But I'm probably going to end up with my natural hair color on some absurdly independent kid that insists on picking all their own clothes and wears their tutu with an army jacket and a pith helmet.

And is also a boy.