My Buddy.

I recently watched the Chucky movies, and was uncomfortably reminded of the My Buddy dolls of my childhood.

 I never had one, or wanted one, and neither did my siblings or any of my friends. I occasionally came across one when visiting other people's houses, and they were always sort of tossed away in a corner and forgotten. The owner of said doll was usually vaguely embarrassed about it.

I always found them strangely unappealing, as if they were somehow deliberately designed to not evoke feelings of affection in children. The Kid Sister version of the doll was just downright puzzling to my child self. Every girl I knew had piles of dolls already, why would we need a vaguely unsettling and definitely unappealing one to lug around? I'm sure my uneasiness about the My Buddy dolls predates the Chucky movies, so I can't even use that as a convenient excuse.

Adult me would totally love a Good Guy doll, though.

Satire.

I managed to make it almost all the way through the university without taking the required writing course. My high school Advanced Placement work really should have gotten me out of such a basic skills class, but eventually I just gave in and did it so I could graduate. This is how I ended up in Freshman Writing 101 the first semester of my senior year.

It was 8am on the first day of the semester and, with the exception of summer school, the first college class ever for most of the students. The essay was on childhood obesity. I finished my essay first and was the first to volunteer when the professor asked someone to stand up and read for the class.

I got an A for my well-written, logical argument for eliminating childhood obesity. As a bonus, I also traumatized an entire class full of fresh-out-of-high-school students who had never read A Modest Proposal with my cold and emotionless delivery. The next person to volunteer was the other senior in the class.

We had written our essays at the same time with zero discussion beforehand, and had obviously come to the same conclusion at the same time: You can propose whatever you like, no matter how preposterous, and get an A as long as your paper was well-thought-out and well-written. I like to think the freshman learned a valuable lesson that day, but I never got to find out because none of them would talk to me the rest of the semester.

Bedmaking.

There are few things that can bring together a house full of animals like stripping the sheets off a bed and putting on clean ones.

The cats like to get buttoned inside the duvet cover and they all like to race around in circles on the empty bed, but the most exciting thing is crawling under the fitted sheet and getting made into the bed.

The Grim Reaper and the HOA

On our front porch there is a 4' tall statue of the Grim Reaper. We bought it at a clearance sale right after Halloween, and we love it. We call him Grim.

At the time we bought him, we lived in a condo complex with a Home Owners Association. The HOA had Rules. Lots and lots of Rules. Tenants were not allowed to have plants on their balconies, patio furniture or barbecues, and any decorations had to be seasonal.

By July the HOA had changed their rules. Holiday decorations were only allowed within a week of the holiday they were celebrating. We move Grim inside until we moved out that September. He has remained a landmark in whatever neighborhood we are living in.

Reverse Trick or Treat!

Pirate? and I went trick or treating long after most people gave it up. Even in college we were going door-to-door in awesome costumes on Halloween. Eventually we gave it up and figured we would need to have or borrow kids in order to resume begging for candy on Halloween. A couple of years ago we threw a party and decided to go reverse trick or treating.

This was easily one of the most fun Halloween activities if you enjoy making other people's day a little more surreal.

Aside from confusion, the reactions we got varied widely.

Some people were trying to eliminate their candy supply, others were delighted. Most were bemused and sort of pleased despite having no idea what was going on. It made for a good night.

The Walrus Guy

Pirate? and I met in the seventh grade. We had both lived in the same small town for several years, and both of our families were pretty active in the community. We crossed paths quite a few times before we actually met and became friends. The summer after seventh grade, we discovered that her parents regularly attended the weekly community band concerts in the park. My parents played tuba and flute in the band. These were outdoor concerts where families usually brought picnics and sat on blankets while listening to the band, and having my best friend there was awesome.

With his massive fluffy white handlebar mustache, The Walrus Guy was a fixture at community events. He did have a real name and was just some retired person as far as I am aware, but he was a winning combination of highly-involved and incredibly recognizable. This meant that you were guaranteed to spot him at every fair, festival, and event in town.

The Greek Festival, the Celtic Festival, the Fourth of July Fireworks, the Community Rummage Sale, the Christmas Parade, the Fourth of July Fireworks...he was even at Tallships presentation at the harbor.

I'm sure that plenty of people at these events knew The Walrus Guy personally, but I never asked them. As a kid you don't generally admit to adults that you go around referring to an upstanding member of the community as The Walrus Guy. He died when we were in college, there was a huge article in the newspaper listing the many clubs and groups he was involved in. Guy had a lot of hobbies. No mention of his close resemblance to any pinniped species, though.

Rest in peace, Walrus Guy. Someday I hope to be as notorious among the local children as you were.