New Baby.

So my sister had another baby. The last one screamed nonstop pretty much from birth to around 9 months.

This one is pretty much dead.

Not that she's actually swinging him around by his feet, but he really doesn't wake up for anything. He's boring even for a newborn. Having seen both ends of the spectrum, I'm finding the screamy kid at least had some character.

Thing I Can't Talk About with Regular People #26

Cheese.

The Self-Appointed Cat Police

Awesomedog is predominantly a working breed, and he is happiest when he has a job to do. If I do not give him a job, he will find one himself. Once upon a time when Awesomedog was a baby, I stopped a cat from clawing a chair by making a hissy sound.

That was the day Awesomedog became The Cat Police. Cat clawing on furniture? Cats fighting? Cats harassing birds? Not while The Cat Police is on patrol.

Awesomedog also detects cats-in-need-of-correction by listening carefully. At the softest whispered "no, no, bad cat." he will launch into action and bite the cat. His aim isn't always perfect, though...

Dietary Restrictions

My doctor told me my bad cholesterol was too high.

And then I went home and researched what exactly constitutes a cholesterol-reducing diet. I quickly determined that those recommendations were almost exactly contrary to the dietary recommendations for my digestive disorder. You see, dietary fiber reduces cholesterol, and I can't digest fiber effectively. A standard cholesterol-reducing diet would not only cause me sever pain, but would also put me at risk for intestinal obstruction. So I went to see a registered nutritionist.

Admittedly I am a difficult patient, but I do honestly feel that if I am paying someone for their advice I should not have to remind them of my limitations every 30 seconds.

Instead of limiting myself to a 3-item diet, I decided I don't actually care about my cholesterol. It's been at the same level for years now.

Everything is Full of Cats

Everything in my house is filled with cats.

Every drawer, every cabinet, every box...

Not that I keep all of my storage devices filled with the little bastards, they just sort of flow in to fill any available space.

This just adds to my theory that cats are actually slow-moving liquids, or possibly some sort of furry slime-mold.

Granite

Ways my kitchen counter is awesome:

1. It's covered with various blotches of color, effectively hiding any spills and making it very difficult to tell when the counter is dirty.

Ways my kitchen counter is not awesome:

1. It's covered with various blotches of color, effectively hiding any spills and making it very difficult to tell when the counter is dirty.

Cooking with Ned: Toffee

After failing to make candied citron the first time, I was left with a pot of salty syrup. I usually make toffee with salted butter and sugar, so the obvious solution was to throw some unsalted butter in the pot and make toffee. To make toffee, you combine an equal amount of butter and sugar, and heat it over the stove until it reaches 285 degrees Fahrenheit.

With a candy thermometer, it's almost impossible to fail at making toffee. You put the pot on the stove, start stirring, and watch the temperature. It's worth noting that at 212 degrees (the boiling point of water) the temperature will stay constant until the moisture from the butter has evaporated.

This can take a while. Keep stirring.

You don't want to walk away from the pot. When the temperature starts to rise again, it will go up very quickly. The whole mixture will foam up and the toffee will burn if you don't stir it constantly and pull it off the heat the second it hits 285. So keep stirring.

When the sun has burned out and all life on earth has perished and the universe has come to an end, the toffee will finally be ready. Pour it onto a foil-lined baking sheet and let it cool, and you will have toffee! You can even drop some chocolate chips on top and spread them around as they melt. When the toffee is hard you can break it into pieces. Of course, all this assumes you didn't get bored and wander away before the toffee hit 285...