Infestation.

We had to deal with a cockroach infestation when we first moved in. I've heard of bug infestations and rodent infestations, and even a house infested with garter snakes. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if houses go infested with something...bigger.

Would we deal with it the same way?

You'll understand when you have chihuahuas.

I was at a street fair when I saw a lady with two chihuahuas that were barking at everything.

And I thought "Hey, I understand. I have a chihuahua, I've been there."

 It reminded me of the kind of thing my sister and other parents say about their kids.

Bee Hives versus Wasp Hives

I have a big problem with the general public's perception of bee hives, and Winnie the Pooh is actively promoting this misinformation. Thanks to cartoons and whimsical garden sculptures, most people people see this:

...and think it is inhabited by these:

When actually most honey bees build their homes in existing holes, like in hollow trees or in the ground, or that whole in the wall of your shed. A classic oval-shaped hive with rings is much more likely to be home to these little bastards:

Seriously, fuck wasps. Those fucking beasts don't die when they sting you, and they will sting you. Not because you got too close to their nest, not because they got scared while you were close by, just because you were there and they were in the mood.

My anti-wasp prejudice and proper wasp hive recognition abilities don't really go over well with most of my family, especially on the Winnie the Pooh ride at Disneyland...

We moved.

We moved into a new house that is down the street from Z's work. Now he doesn't have to commute an hour each way. We split with the roommates and rented a very old little house. We had a rough time finding a place around here that would rent to people with pets, so we signed paperwork and agreed to rent the place after just a brief walk-through. We didn't get to see the place again until moving day, when we discovered it was already inhabited by roaches. Also some wasps were building a nest over the back door. We immediately got to work fixing the problems.

The wasps were easy to get rid of, and the roaches were surprisingly quick to leave too. We put out a whole bunch of poison baits for them, cleaned like crazy, and kept everything in the refrigerator. Within a week of moving in we stopped seeing them at all. It's been almost two months and we have yet to see a single roach. That doesn't stop me from sneaking into the kitchen late at night and flipping on the lights really fast to see if I can catch them in the act.

A tragic hair dye accident.

Tinydog is a 6lb chihuahua. I was planning on getting a girl Awesomedog when he showed up. Tinydog is cold in anything less than 90 degree weather, so he wears a lot of sweaters. Pink sweaters. Also pretty dresses. Tinydog does not mind wearing dresses, he likes being pretty.
 

Tinydog used to be tan colored, before the accident. It started when I spilled some pink hair dye on the floor...

Tinydog is pretty skinny and tends to turn his nose up at any kind of dog food and most people food. He will, however, eat art supplies. FYI, most hair dye is poisonous.

A brief internet search showed that Manic Panic dye is actually quite safe and is even used on poodles in those wacky grooming competitions. Everything you can use to get dye off a dog is full of bleach or ammonia and potentially harmful. Soap wasn't going to do the trick, so I asked the internet for advice.

It's a semi-permanent dye that washes out after a while, but Tinydog's pink remains because I underestimated the pathos of a wet chihuahua.

Night Terrors

My husband Z has night terrors. This was a great source of excitement early in our marriage.

The first time he woke up screaming about spiders, I turned on the lights and looked for spiders.

By the third time it was normal.

He usually doesn't remember anything the next day.

It's not always spiders, though. Sometimes it's a mysterious medical malady or some new and different creepy crawly. Not long ago he tried to convince me he was dead.

While I failed to convince him that he was indeed still alive, I did talk him into going back to sleep.

Cat vs. Motorcycle

At night when we're all asleep, Evilcat lurks in the closet.

Sometimes she starts growling at the dogs or the other cats because they bother her. Or get too close. Or exist.

Our neighbor down the street drives a motorcycle that hit exactly the same pitch as the cat when he warms it up early in the morning.

We can tell the difference after a few seconds, but for a brief moment we're never sure if it's the bike or if the cat is just really, really pissed.