Embracing My Innate Hipsterism.

From early childhood I have always had the desire to be different. I can't remember anyone ever telling me it was vital to be unique, but I always felt it very strongly even when I deeply desired to fit in and have friends.

In seventh grade, when teasing was horrific and most kids were desperate to avoid being singled out as different, I was shopping in thrift store for vintage clothes. That was when Pirate? and I met, and while she was largely oblivious to her weirdness, I reveled in mine.

We got teased and bullied more than any other kids at the school, but I never even considered trying to fit in and not be weird. I liked who I was, and being different was more important than not having rocks thrown at me during lunch. Being an individual was so important that I stopped enjoying things like Anime and skull t-shirts nearly as much when they became popular and mainstream. It never really occurred to me that this had a name until Pirate? was surfing the internet and looked up the definition of "hipster".

Though hipsterism is difficult to define, it comes close to describing my relentless desire to be unlike everyone else. "Hipster" essentially describes a counter-culture of people who deliberately shun mainstream culture and revel in their nerdy, uncool, handmade, apatheist, thrift store lifestyles.

http://wondermark.com/262/

Not that I have any hipster friends though, because that would make me like all the other hipsters.

My Cats are Stupid: Exhibit E

Tortie Hellion is in perfect health. She can see and hear normally as far as any vet has been able to determine. The reason I tell you this is so that you can understand exactly how ridiculous it is when Tortie Hellion gets lost.

Our cats live indoors full time because there are cars and coyotes and our cats are way too stupid to avoid these and the many other hazards outside the house. Our house is fairly small, two bedrooms and maybe 900 square feet at most. We've lived here almost two years now, and Tortie Hellion still gets lost.

It's a lot less heartbreaking when you realize that Tortie Hellion often gets lost while she is in the same room as us. She's just dumb as toast.

Santa.

I find the whole concept of taking your kid to the mall or wherever to see Santa a bit creepy.

I mean, you're encouraging your kid to sit on Santa's lap and all, and you and I both know that no matter how good an actor he may be, that's not really Santa. It's just...some guy.

Satire.

I managed to make it almost all the way through the university without taking the required writing course. My high school Advanced Placement work really should have gotten me out of such a basic skills class, but eventually I just gave in and did it so I could graduate. This is how I ended up in Freshman Writing 101 the first semester of my senior year.

It was 8am on the first day of the semester and, with the exception of summer school, the first college class ever for most of the students. The essay was on childhood obesity. I finished my essay first and was the first to volunteer when the professor asked someone to stand up and read for the class.

I got an A for my well-written, logical argument for eliminating childhood obesity. As a bonus, I also traumatized an entire class full of fresh-out-of-high-school students who had never read A Modest Proposal with my cold and emotionless delivery. The next person to volunteer was the other senior in the class.

We had written our essays at the same time with zero discussion beforehand, and had obviously come to the same conclusion at the same time: You can propose whatever you like, no matter how preposterous, and get an A as long as your paper was well-thought-out and well-written. I like to think the freshman learned a valuable lesson that day, but I never got to find out because none of them would talk to me the rest of the semester.

Bedmaking.

There are few things that can bring together a house full of animals like stripping the sheets off a bed and putting on clean ones.

The cats like to get buttoned inside the duvet cover and they all like to race around in circles on the empty bed, but the most exciting thing is crawling under the fitted sheet and getting made into the bed.

The 'O' Key

Tiny Green Parrot is a Pacific Parrotlet. She likes to help me text.

She also enjoys hanging out on my keyboard when I am working. Sometimes she likes to guard the 'o' key.

Gender.

This afternoon I was walking through a parking lot when I saw an interesting person.

At first I wasn't sure if it was a man or a woman, and then I realized it didn't matter at all. Knowing wouldn't change the way I treated them, and it's even possible they don't identify as a specific gender, and that's ok too.