I Hate Everyone

I describe myself as a misanthrope. This means I hate everyone, despite my warm and cheerful personality. I hate people of every shape and size, age and ethnicity, gender identity and socioeconomic status. There are specific people that I more or less like and appreciate on a personal level, but on a global scale, I hate everyone.

While most people would assume hating everyone would make me angry and bitter, but it's actually rather pragmatic. Since I have already accepted and embraced the fact that I hate everyone, there's no need to focus on which people I hate, or why I hate them. My neighbors' kids scream all day long and they don't seem to care, but it's not because of their nationality or ethnicity or culture, it's just that they are people. Some drivers don't appear to understand how turn signals or turnouts on mountain roads work, but it's not because of their age or gender, it's because they, too, are people. Wars rage across the Middle East because people keep being people. People have always been people, and aren't likely to change anytime soon. They're going to keep being greedy, gullible, and stupid on various scales. Attempting to forgive, accept, and love all of humanity sounds pretty tough, just generally hating everyone is easy and spreads the hate out in a thin layer that doesn't coat anyone too heavily. There's no need to get worked up over a given person's words or actions, because they are a human and thus vindicating my blanket hatred of all humanity.

"Can I Pet Your Dog?"

I was walking Awesomedog, Tinydog, and Fosteruahuah on the hiking trails one day when we were beset by a pack of preschoolers.

I could see them thundering down the trail, well ahead of their parents. Just behind the parents was a guy walking with a large dog sans leash. He kept calling it as rocketed off the trail and back, it didn't appear to hear him. The herd of toddlers spotted my dogs and came stampeding toward us.

It's nice that people teach their small children to ask before rushing someone else's dog, but it would be even nicer if they elaborated on "ask first". These tiny terrors had absolutely no idea what to do when the answer was something other than "yes".

This exchange was repeated for several minutes while the parents finally caught up and hauled their grabby offspring away. The owner of the other dog leashed it while I was fending off the preschoolers, thus saving me from having to break up a dog fight in the middle of a playgroup.

The Tractor Ride

On a recent trip to Disneyland, Z and I decided to try all the rides in the new Cars-themed part of California Adventures. This is where I found the most entertaining ride in the entire park: Mater's Junkyard Jamboree. This might be my new favorite.

The basic concept is that the tractos pull little trailers with room for a couple of people. They move on interlocking circular tracks, describing something like a figure eight. Disneyland describes the ride like this: "Board a trailer pulled by an adorable little tractor and swing in time to lively music." Sounds pretty tame, right? What they fail to warn you is that the trailers swing with quite a lot of force, and the seat is a simple bench and lap bar, so there is absolutely nothing to stop the occupant from sliding across and whacking into the far side with each turn.

Now consider that the majority of the people on this ride are adults riding with small children. "Swinging in time to lively music" immediately becomes "Desperately trying not to squash your progeny."

The fact that I find this hilariously entertaining to watch probably means that I am a terrible person.

Disneyland

We go to Disneyland a lot. We're fairly local, and friends and family from out of state inevitably want to go so we end up buying season passes. Visiting Disneyland several times a year gives you a very different perspective on the place. You start looking for weird little details, seeking out Hidden Mickeys, and making up bizarre games. My favorite is Stroller Safari, wherein you watch for unusual/expensive/international strollers. (My stroller knowledge is based almost entirely off of writing for work and also a mild obsession with this study.)

I often see small children looking concerned about getting on rides. My mother has always been good at allaying their fears.

I, on the other hand, can just barely manage to contain my desire to terrify them.